I like cupcakes and snowflakes and rainbows and unicorns.
A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice.
Bill Cosby
All right everyone, line up alphabetically according to your height.
Casey Stengel
Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please.
Mark Twain
Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance?
Phyllis Diller
Weather forecast for tonight: dark.
George Carlin
A waffle is like a pancake with a syrup trap.
Mitch Hedberg